Man Vs Mannequin

An early morning encounter between a “grossly intoxicated” man and an armless thrift store mannequin ended badly for the budding couple yesterday. Her $10 brown coat, cream hat and glazed expression attracted the interest of a Hanover St pedestrian, who began a heated argument with the size 10 mannequin shortly before 8am. “He fancied her but she didn’t fancy him,” Butterflies – The Hospice Shop store manager Robyn Elliman said.

‘After hearing noises coming from the front of the store, she was amazed to find a drunken Polynesian man arguing with the unnamed mannequin. “He was slapping the window and I thought he was going to be sick.” Mrs Elliman checked to see if the man was all right. Then, before leaving the scene, he kicked and smashed a shopfront window. Acting Senior Sergeant Dave Scott said witnesses contacted police following the “heated argument” with the mannequin, who kept her cool throughout’ – Otago Daily Times


Man ‘high on bath salts’ arrested in bra, panties, accused of stabbing goat –

‘A US man found wearing women’s underwear and standing over a goat’s carcass told West Virginia police he was high on bath salts. Mark L Thompson of Alum Creek was arrested at his home on Monday. A criminal complaint in Kanawha County Magistrate Court charges the 19-year-old with cruelty to animals. Sheriff’s Deputy JS Shackelford says witnesses reported Mr Thompson standing near a neighbour’s pygmy goat in a bedroom. He was wearing a bra and female underwear. The goat had at least one stab wound. Corporal Sean Snuffer says Mr Thompson indicated he had been high and “wasn’t in his right mind”. Mr Thompson was held on $50,000 bond yesterday at the South Central Regional Jail. Jail records didn’t indicate whether he had a lawyer and no listed phone number was available’

I Miss Briz-Vegas

‘A teenager who was jailed for seven days for walking through a busy inner city Brisbane street chanting “I am a f…… penis”, has had his sentence reduced on appeal. On August 8 last year, Michael Trevor Royce Collins, 18, was in Albert St yelling “I am a f….. penis” near family groups and children. Police arrested him and took him to the watch-house where he was denied bail and he then fronted the Magistrates Court the next day. He was jailed for two months to be suspended after he served seven days actual custody’ – The Courier-Mail


Egyptian Revolutionary Helmets

So just to outline here – these are makeshift helmets made by the Egyptians whilst scrapping in their current predicament. I shall guide you through these pieces of registered army kit thus:

Your classic 1979 ‘Tribottle rag’ helmet – a must in any type of combat

A late 80’s ‘boxhat’. The bloke next to him doesn’t appear too sure of its effectiveness

A renaissance period piece of brickwear teamed with a black and cream scarf. It’s got that suave sophisticated, ‘Man about Cairo’ look.

I’m not sure that the tuna sarnie he is about to lob is gonna cause to much destruction. Old school 80’s broken bin helmet. I personally love the fact he needs to lift it up to see – does he spend the rest of the time walking in to things?

Textbook saucepaning with lifejacket combo.

I literally have no idea what this is.

And the winner by 100 miles. This bloke is going to war with 2 baguettes strapped to his ears and a ham salad roll sellotaped to his forehead. I’d definitely want to be behind him if someone lobs a load of bricks at me.

Crazy Diddy Conspiracy

‘Diddy is being sued for $1 trillion after being accused of causing 9/11. A woman named Valerie Turks filed the suit against Diddy, whose real name is Sean Combs, alleging that he was the cause behind the collapse of the World Trade Centre in 2001 and stole a poker chip from her worth “100 zillions of dollars”. Turks was denied a restraining order against the rapper, but the judge set a hearing for the case for January 31.

“[Diddy] went through Kim Porter and Rodney King and knocked down the WTC and then they all came and knocked my children down. Set me up to be on disability and disabled my baby. He put my baby in a wheelchair,” Billboard quotes Turks as saying in her legal papers.

“Plus I won a lot of money at the casino in Mississippi and Sean P. Diddy Combs has my chip to my money,” she continued. “I heard he gave it to Gwen Allen to hold but she cannot cash it in. I want my chip please help me. It’s well worth over 100 zillions of dollars, and my hospital keys. They put me and my baby in the hospital and broke my baby 2 legs and sexual assaulted my children and crushed us (sic).” Turks, who is asking for $900 billion dollars in child support and $100 billion dollars for “loss of income”, also claims she once dated Diddy and share a son, 23-year-old Cornelius Wilson’ – Digital Spy


‘A Louisville man is facing public intoxication charges after police said they found him walking down South Third Street with an 18-inch sex toy in his pants. According to arrest records, a Louisville Metro Police officer saw Alen Spahic, 26, walking with a large bulge coming from the waistband of his pants around 1:20 a.m. Friday. The officer said Spahic was wearing sunglasses and had his hands wrapped tightly around his body, as if he was holding a large object in his jacket. According to arrest records, the officer patted Spahic down for weapons and found an 18-inch sex toy and lubricants. Police said Spahic was shouting obscenities, said that everyone was going to die and that he was a wolverine. Police also said Spahic had “pinpoint pupils.” According to arrest records, the officer felt that Spahic was a danger to himself and the public. Spahic is charged with public intoxication and second-degree disorderly conduct’ – MSNBC


And a short Headline to finish :

‘Armless Pianist Wins China’s Got Talent’ – Metro.



Funny News Stories

‘Australia’s oldest athlete at the Delhi Commonwealth Games has missed out on a shooting medal after firing at the wrong target. Michelangelo Giustiniano finished equal third with three other shooters in Sunday’s men’s 25 metre centrefire pistol event, but high drama in the five-shot shoot-off for bronze ended with the 57-year-old leaving empty-handed. Giustiniano shot at the target of his opponent next to him, leaving him with a score of 0 and in sixth place. Singapore’s Lip Meng Poh, whose target Giustiniano mistakenly shot at, registered the best of Giustiniano’s shots in his score of 49 out of 50, and won the shoot-off to take bronze’ – Adelaide Now.

‘A woman in Arizona mistakenly used glue instead of eye drops after confusing the two products’ ‘nearly identical’ bottles. Irmgard Holm, who had cataract surgery a year ago, realised immediately that something was wrong when she experienced a burning sensation in her eye. According to KSAZ-TV, she was reaching for what she thought was one of her half-dozen eye drop medications when the mix-up happened. Irmgard tried washing out the glue at first, but the ‘quick-drying’ product did exactly what it said on the bottle and promptly sealed her eye shut. When she got to hospital, staff cut off the hardened glue covering her eye and, when her eye had opened, washed out the remainder to prevent major damage’ – Metro.