Man Vs Mannequin

An early morning encounter between a “grossly intoxicated” man and an armless thrift store mannequin ended badly for the budding couple yesterday. Her $10 brown coat, cream hat and glazed expression attracted the interest of a Hanover St pedestrian, who began a heated argument with the size 10 mannequin shortly before 8am. “He fancied her but she didn’t fancy him,” Butterflies – The Hospice Shop store manager Robyn Elliman said.

‘After hearing noises coming from the front of the store, she was amazed to find a drunken Polynesian man arguing with the unnamed mannequin. “He was slapping the window and I thought he was going to be sick.” Mrs Elliman checked to see if the man was all right. Then, before leaving the scene, he kicked and smashed a shopfront window. Acting Senior Sergeant Dave Scott said witnesses contacted police following the “heated argument” with the mannequin, who kept her cool throughout’ – Otago Daily Times


Man ‘high on bath salts’ arrested in bra, panties, accused of stabbing goat –

‘A US man found wearing women’s underwear and standing over a goat’s carcass told West Virginia police he was high on bath salts. Mark L Thompson of Alum Creek was arrested at his home on Monday. A criminal complaint in Kanawha County Magistrate Court charges the 19-year-old with cruelty to animals. Sheriff’s Deputy JS Shackelford says witnesses reported Mr Thompson standing near a neighbour’s pygmy goat in a bedroom. He was wearing a bra and female underwear. The goat had at least one stab wound. Corporal Sean Snuffer says Mr Thompson indicated he had been high and “wasn’t in his right mind”. Mr Thompson was held on $50,000 bond yesterday at the South Central Regional Jail. Jail records didn’t indicate whether he had a lawyer and no listed phone number was available’

I Miss Briz-Vegas

‘A teenager who was jailed for seven days for walking through a busy inner city Brisbane street chanting “I am a f…… penis”, has had his sentence reduced on appeal. On August 8 last year, Michael Trevor Royce Collins, 18, was in Albert St yelling “I am a f….. penis” near family groups and children. Police arrested him and took him to the watch-house where he was denied bail and he then fronted the Magistrates Court the next day. He was jailed for two months to be suspended after he served seven days actual custody’ – The Courier-Mail


Strip GTA (not the game)

‘A woman who took her clothes off in a taxi cab then stole it after the cab driver drove to a police station to complain. Then she had a little nap. The naked-woman-stealing-a-cab incident occurred in Covington, Louisiana, at about 2am, when the woman (at that point fully clothed) asked to be taken to Michigan. The cab driver, not unsurprisingly, declined to take her to Michigan, probably on the grounds that Michigan is roughly 1,200 miles away from Covington, Louisiana.

‘This displeased the woman, who responded by starting to take her clothes off in protest. The driver instructed her to get out of the cab, but she refused. So the driver simply drove to the nearest police station. Unfortunately the driver forgot to take his keys with him when he leapt out of the car upon arriving at the station – giving the woman the perfect opportunity to steal his car from in front of him. Police say the woman didn’t get very far – she drove a few blocks, then parked, and fell asleep naked in the back seat’ – Metro.

Prison Spectacle

‘A prisoner in North Dakota has amazingly scoffed a pair of spectacles in a bizarre tantrum. It seems the unnamed inmate chewed his cellmate’s eyeware after becoming frustrated at not being able to see the prison chaplain. The 42-year-old clearly has good taste though – the pair of spectacles he consumed were worth £160. Having returned from hospital unscathed the lense chomper faces the likelihood of a criminal mischief charge, to add to the aggravated assault charge he’d received hours before his weird misdemeanour. Unconfirmed reports suggest he may try and claim that he was framed for the crime’ – Metro.

PS. I am sorry about the lack of updates but I have been travelling and had an epic wedding to go to. I will try and upload some pictures in the coming weeks.

Non-Football Story Of The Day ; From Mediawatch at

‘A man in the US has been charged after authorities say he took his mother hostage for six hours because she refused to do his ironing for him. The 29-year-old man is facing charges of aggravated assault and false imprisonment after he allegedly pulled a gun on his mother and wouldn’t let her leave the house for at least six hours when she wouldn’t iron his clothes. Sergeant Marc Griffith of Carroll County Sheriff’s Office in Georgia said that the man, who lives with his parents in Villa Rica, Georgia, insisted that doing the ironing was ‘woman’s work’.

‘Mama finally said, “I’m not ironing your clothes,” and he went cuckoo on her,’ Griffith told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, saying the man then pulled out a gun, took his mother’s keys and mobile phone, and refused to let her leave. The 51-year-old mother eventually managed to escape, and went to a police station. She was unharmed in the incident. The man surrendered to police without incident, and is being held in jail’ – Metro.


Runner Up
‘A strawberry farm manager has come under fire for banning skirt-wearing women from picking the fruits for “hygienic reasons”. Reinhard Piribauer hit the headlines in 2008 when the rule was introduced for the first time at his “Erdbeerland” self-service picking farms across the province of Lower Austria. Now the businessman faces fresh pressure over his decision not to lift the controversial ban this year around. “I decided to issue this ruling to win back regular customers. Business figures confirm that I was right,” he said today (Thurs). Piribauer said he had been confronted with a wave of complaints before 2008 over some women allegedly going to the toilet while squatting in his fields. The entrepreneur claimed the vast majority of customers backed the restriction’ – Austrian Times.

Bank Robber’s Miscalculation

‘Wannabe bank-robbers in Germany were forced to leave empty-handed after a slight misjudgement over the amount of explosives needed meant they destroyed the whole bank – except for the thing with the money inside. The bank destruction took place in the northeastern German village of Malliss (which, if it only got a little bigger, would be a town called Malliss).

‘The bank was reduced to a pile of rubble and its roof completely obliterated by the night-time explosion, while cars and buildings up to 100 metres away were damaged. However, in the ruins of the bank, there was one thing left completely intact: the cash machine. ‘The explosion was so big, they had to run away without the money,’ said local police spokesman Niels Borgmann. ‘Something evidently didn’t work the way the robbers wanted it to,’ he added with masterful understatement. Nobody is thought to have been injured in the blast. Police are still hunting for the culprits’ – Metro.