Arsenal Vs Braga


Non-Football Story Of The Day ; From Mediawatch at

‘A man in the US has been charged after authorities say he took his mother hostage for six hours because she refused to do his ironing for him. The 29-year-old man is facing charges of aggravated assault and false imprisonment after he allegedly pulled a gun on his mother and wouldn’t let her leave the house for at least six hours when she wouldn’t iron his clothes. Sergeant Marc Griffith of Carroll County Sheriff’s Office in Georgia said that the man, who lives with his parents in Villa Rica, Georgia, insisted that doing the ironing was ‘woman’s work’.

‘Mama finally said, “I’m not ironing your clothes,” and he went cuckoo on her,’ Griffith told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, saying the man then pulled out a gun, took his mother’s keys and mobile phone, and refused to let her leave. The 51-year-old mother eventually managed to escape, and went to a police station. She was unharmed in the incident. The man surrendered to police without incident, and is being held in jail’ – Metro.


Runner Up
‘A strawberry farm manager has come under fire for banning skirt-wearing women from picking the fruits for “hygienic reasons”. Reinhard Piribauer hit the headlines in 2008 when the rule was introduced for the first time at his “Erdbeerland” self-service picking farms across the province of Lower Austria. Now the businessman faces fresh pressure over his decision not to lift the controversial ban this year around. “I decided to issue this ruling to win back regular customers. Business figures confirm that I was right,” he said today (Thurs). Piribauer said he had been confronted with a wave of complaints before 2008 over some women allegedly going to the toilet while squatting in his fields. The entrepreneur claimed the vast majority of customers backed the restriction’ – Austrian Times.

World Cup Jokes

David Blaine is reportedly furious after England crashed out of the World Cup – his record of doing absolutely nothing in a box for 42 days was broken by Wayne Rooney.

– The England team visited an orphanage in Cape Town today. “It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Jamal, aged six.

– I’ve just won two tickets to see the England team. Do you want to come with me? We’ll catch the bus to Gatwick Airport on Thursday and watch them come home.

– I hear Oxo are making a new product. The packaging is white with a red cross and they’re calling it the laughing stock.

– What’s the difference between the England team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

– Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, “Can you manage dear?” To which the old lady replied: “No way. You got yourself into this mess. Don’t ask me to sort it out!”

– What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee.

– Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room – Robert Green was guarding the door.

– I can’t believe we only managed a draw against a rubbish team we should easily have beaten. . . . I’m ashamed to call myself Algerian.

– What does the Englishman do when England wins the World Cup? He switches off the Play Station.

– What’s the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek? Shrek can save the day.

– What’s the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining.

French World Cup Jokes and A Video Clip of A Clever Stretcher Bearer

The French are remaking a popular American sitcom. It’s now called ‘Nobody Loves Raymond’.

France have renamed one of Paris’ most famous landmarks. It’s now called the I-Can’t-Believe-They-Were-Ever-Champs Elysees.

If the French get their packing done quickly, they might just run into Nicolas Anelka in duty-free.

And my favourite:

Yesterday: France met South Africa in Bloemfontein. Wednesday: England meet Slovenia in Port Elizabeth. Thursday: England meet France in the departure lounge