The Sniper


Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf club when a guy carrying a golf bag calls out to them , ” Do you mind if I join you ? , my partner didn’t turn up “.

 

” Sure ” , they said , ” you’re welcome ” , so they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

 

Part way around the course one of the friends asked the newcomer , ” what do you do for a living ? “.

 

” I’m a hitman ” , was the reply.

 

” You’re joking ” , replied one of the friends.

 

” No I’m not ” , came the reply , the newcomer then reached into his golf bag , pulled out a Martini sniper rifle with a large telescopic sight and said , ” here are my tools “.

 

” That’s a great looking scope ” , said one of the friends , ” can I take a look , I think I might be able to see my house from here “.

 

The friend picked up the rifle and looked through the scope in the direction of his house.

 

” Yeah , I can see my house alright , this scope is fantastic , I can see right in the window , ha , I can even see the wife , ha ha , I can see she’s naked , hang on , wait a minute , that’s my neighbour there with her , and he’s naked too !! “.

 

He turned to the hitman and asked ” how much do you charge for a hit ? “.

 

” I’ll do you a flat rate , $1000 every time I pull the trigger ” , replied the hitman.

 

” Can you do two for me now ? ” , asked the friend.

 

” Sure ” , said the hitman , ” how do you want it ? “.

 

” First , shoot my wife , she’s always been a bit mouthy , so shoot her in the mouth , then my neighbour , he’s actually not a bad bloke so , just shoot him in the old-feller , that should teach him a lesson “.

 

The hitman takes the rifle and takes aim , standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

 

” Are you going to do it or not ? ” , say’s the friend impatiently.

 

” Just be patient ” , replies the hitman calmly , ” I think I can save you a grand here “.

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