The Sniper

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf club when a guy carrying a golf bag calls out to them , ” Do you mind if I join you ? , my partner didn’t turn up “.


” Sure ” , they said , ” you’re welcome ” , so they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.


Part way around the course one of the friends asked the newcomer , ” what do you do for a living ? “.


” I’m a hitman ” , was the reply.


” You’re joking ” , replied one of the friends.


” No I’m not ” , came the reply , the newcomer then reached into his golf bag , pulled out a Martini sniper rifle with a large telescopic sight and said , ” here are my tools “.


” That’s a great looking scope ” , said one of the friends , ” can I take a look , I think I might be able to see my house from here “.


The friend picked up the rifle and looked through the scope in the direction of his house.


” Yeah , I can see my house alright , this scope is fantastic , I can see right in the window , ha , I can even see the wife , ha ha , I can see she’s naked , hang on , wait a minute , that’s my neighbour there with her , and he’s naked too !! “.


He turned to the hitman and asked ” how much do you charge for a hit ? “.


” I’ll do you a flat rate , $1000 every time I pull the trigger ” , replied the hitman.


” Can you do two for me now ? ” , asked the friend.


” Sure ” , said the hitman , ” how do you want it ? “.


” First , shoot my wife , she’s always been a bit mouthy , so shoot her in the mouth , then my neighbour , he’s actually not a bad bloke so , just shoot him in the old-feller , that should teach him a lesson “.


The hitman takes the rifle and takes aim , standing perfectly still for a few minutes.


” Are you going to do it or not ? ” , say’s the friend impatiently.


” Just be patient ” , replies the hitman calmly , ” I think I can save you a grand here “.


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